BIG-SHOTism
“Now that we’re back in A.A. and sober, and winning back the esteem of our friends, we find that we still need to exercise special vigilance. As an insurance against ‘big-shot-ism’ we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more his success than ours.”
-12 and 12 p.92
2The alcoholic ego is incredibly delicate. As we hear commonly in the rooms, we’re described as egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. If we’re given too little attention, the mind will dramatically dip into a valley and convince us we’re doing something wrong. Or perhaps we’ll start believing that we’re somehow not good enough. With lack of external validation we’ll likely overcompensate our way into a jam. On the other hand, if we’re given too much attention, we’re bound to recklessly leap-frog ahead into fantastical delusions of grandeur. If someone tells us we did a good job then invariably we’re puffing our chest up as though we’ve won a medal of honor. A simple pat on the back or a nod of praise and suddenly we envision ourselves as CEO of a fortune 500 company.
By the same token, our egos are very quick to judge as we’re constantly taking everyone else’s inventory rather than our own. Someone shares something that we don’t agree with and our egos tell us they’re doing it all wrong. If we hear something at a meeting that we don’t agree with then immediately we scoff at the other person’s apparent misgiving. We sit on our thrones of superiority looking down on all. These are just a few examples of precisely how the alcoholic mind tends to operate. Perpetually the pendulum of judgment swings from one extreme to the next with no concept of the center.
So exactly HOW DO I GET SOBER and find emotional balance as an alcoholic or drug addict? Much of the answer lies in taking action. Following are a few of the key components to successful recovery: